There are so many things I could say but I’ll try to keep it as short as possible. We are forever grateful for God’s sovereign rule and plans for your life. I have prayed for you since the day I met you. Looking back there were times I was praying for myself and didn’t know it. I hope these words comfort and drive you to be all the God has planned for you.
Being a godly woman begins with surrendering your whole heart to Jesus. This means Jesus defines who you are—not your friends, the world, or even yourself. The Bible says that those who surrender their hearts to Jesus are blessed, chosen, holy, adopted, redeemed, favored, and forgiven (Eph. 1:3–11). Kyli, no matter how you feel or what happens to you, that is your identity.
Surrendering your heart to Jesus also means obeying Him. You will be tempted to be the boss of your life, following your own wisdom. But the Bible says “the foolishness of God is wiser than men, and the weakness of God is stronger than men” (1 Cor. 1:25). If you build your life around Jesus, submitting to the perfect wisdom of God, He will make you the woman He wants you to be.
Our culture will tempt you to believe that the prettier and sexier you are, the more valuable and loved you will be. But this is a lie! 1 Peter 3:3–4 says that our main focus should not be looking pretty on the outside, but rather having a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious to God. When you listen to Jesus’ opinion of you, you will not be anxious about fitting in or being the most beautiful. Your heart will be at peace. And that is true beauty.
Some women believe finding the right man is the ultimate goal in life. But this will always lead to disappointment! If God wants you to be single, you may believe the lie that you’re less adequate than wives and moms. If He wants you to marry, you may believe the lie that a man can provide lasting fulfillment. Kyli, stand guard against both thoughts! If He does bless you with a godly husband, then respect, cherish, and honor that man, for he is a gift! But do not look to him for your ultimate hope and security. That is Jesus’ place.
Finally, Kyli, beware of defining yourself by what you do. If you fall into this trap, you will forever be comparing yourself with others. This can only lead to pride, shame, guilt, and judgment. Strive to have a soft and submissive heart toward God and His commands. Most of God’s instructions in the Bible apply to both men and women. But there are certain passages written specifically about women, like Titus 2:3–5, Ephesians 5:22–24, Proverbs 31, and 1 Peter 3:1–6. Embrace the teaching of these passages with a grateful heart! They were not written to burden you with guilt, but to teach you God’s perfect will and design for women. He alone can, and will, empower you to be the woman He wants you to be. And in becoming what He wants, you will find the greatest freedom and joy.
I love you,
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Adopted from What I Want My Daughters to know About Biblical Womanhood by Jeanne Harrioson